


Lessons

by bluemermaid



Category: Gemma Doyle Trilogy - Libba Bray
Genre: F/F, Headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-03
Packaged: 2018-03-16 05:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3476330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemermaid/pseuds/bluemermaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pip is a sleeping beauty, and Felicity is full of silly hopes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lessons

**Author's Note:**

> Two separate scenes from two separate books, melded into one headcanon.

Pippa thrashes upon the ground, and Felicity is at her side in an instant, collapsing on the hard dirt beside her with a shuddering sob. "You left her!" She shouts at Gemma, who is frozen, wide-eyed.

Felicity is a trembling mess as she places her hands upon Pippa's shoulders. "Do something!" She shouts, her throat, her eyes, aching with her screaming sobs. "Get help!"

Gemma is off like an arrow, flung into the woods in a sprint. Fee does not know or care where she is going, as long as she brings back help for Pippa. Ann trembles beside them, uncertain, biting her lip, and Felicity glares dangerously at her. "Get out of here!" She yells viciously. She is filled with a desperate need to be alone with Pip, to save her. Ann nods and turns away, following Gemma into the dark.

Pippa has calmed down, her body lying motionless in the dirt. Felicity touches her face gently, pushing aside a wayward mess of hair, dark curls which have come undone in the seizure. "Pip," she says quietly, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "Please be okay, Pip."

She has known, all this time, how she's felt about Pip, but she has never admitted it to anyone, least of all herself. For it is unthinkable in her society, to feel anything even remotely like Felicity Worthington's passion for Pippa Cross. And so she has tried to ignore it, cover it with friendships and jokes, plans for future husbands. She has laughed at Pippa's torment over marriage, steadfastly closing her eyes to the love and hatred which lay within her heart. It has all led to this, Pippa on the ground with her eyes closed, trapped in a sleep from which she might not awaken. And it is all Felicity's fault, for listening to the huntress. All she wanted was the power to deal with her own emotions, and it has brought her this.

"Pippa," she says, gripping her best friend's arms, leaning in closer to her face, deceptively peaceful in its beauty. A sleeping beauty, is Pip, and Felicity is filled with a sudden hope, as silly as it may be. "Please wake up," she whispers, shaking as she presses her lips to Pip's.

Pippa is warm and soft, limp and unresponsive. Felicity kisses her harder, willing her love to seep into Pip's pores, to fill her with life. It is a fairy tale, she knows this, but it is Pippa, and she would do anything to bring her back. But nothing happens, and Fee collapses onto the ground beside Pip, crying softly and hating everything. If only she had listened to Gemma...but it was Gemma who left Pip in the realms, and Felicity will blame anyone but herself in her anger. Gemma did this, and Gemma will have to bring Pippa back. It makes Felicity ever more miserable, that Gemma can do what Fee cannot. This is what love really brings you: pain. Felicity has always known this as well, but the lesson never stops hurting.

All she can do is pray that her love will not hurt Pippa too deeply.

***

The berries do look delicious, especially when Pippa holds them. Felicity watches as Pip delicately places a particularly small fruit upon her tongue, smiling at Fee as she swallows it down. "It's not so hard," she says playfully. "And just think, Fee. We'll always be together."

"I can't," says Fee, though she's still staring at the cluster of them, clutched in Pippa's small hand like a beloved piece of jewelry. "You know I can't."

Pippa stamps her foot and pouts dramatically, flinging her hair over her shoulder. Felicity finds it irritating sometimes, how beautiful Pippa can be, when she uses it to sway people. When she uses it on Fee. "What's waiting for you on that side, anyway?" Pip asks, wrinkling her nose in disgust. " _Those_ parties will be dreadfully boring without me beside you. And you'll never find someone _right_ to marry, will you, Fee?" She takes Felicity by the hand, her violet eyes open wide and staring deeply into Felicity's. "Not one like me."

Felicity sighs. "Of course not," she snaps. "You know that."

"Then why?" Pippa grips Felicity's fingers tightly as she holds up the berries with her other hand. "Why will you leave me?"

"It's not that simple." Felicity holds her head up high. "I can't just stay here."

"But of course you can," Pip says with a laugh. "Think of all the fun we'll have." She lifts Felicity's hand and kisses her gently on the wrist. Her voice is low. "It's only one berry, Fee. And then we'll have all the fun."

Felicity raises an eyebrow. "Fun?" The tone of Pip's voice awakens a thrilling heat in Felicity, though she cannot quite connect this to anything tangible. This is Pippa, after all, the girl with the foolish heart and naive mind, who until recently couldn't imagine Felicity could feel anything for her other than the deepest of friendships. Still, her voice is a promise that Fee finds incredibly difficult to ignore.

Pippa presses her mouth again to Felicity's wrist and looks up; her eyes are a terrifying mix of blue and white. Felicity wants to pull away in a sudden burst of revulsion, but this is Pip, and she can't hurt her Pip. Not after the last time. She swallows hard and watches as Pip's eyes flash, as something hard and dangerous flits across them, as the tip of her tongue touches Felicity's pale skin. "Yes," Pippa says brightly, and she is herself again, releasing Fee's arm as though she had never kissed it at all. "We do have fun here, don't we? Dancing and singing, and playing the most delightful games. The castle is your home, Fee. Our home. Isn't it?"

"As I said, it's not that simple." Felicity crosses her arms and looks away, to the sky overhead, swirling with patches of grey and black. The mountains of the Winterlands loom in the distance. "Just give me some time, Pip. To settle things."

Pippa throws her arms around Felicity in a warm hug. "Of course, Fee. And then you'll stay, and we'll be happy forever."

Felicity closes her eyes and savors the feel of Pip in her arms. She does not speak, for she has no answer. She feels caught no matter which way she turns. And though she cannot forget the feel of Pippa's lips upon her wrist, she also sees the frightening whiteness of Pippa's eyes.


End file.
